Friday, December 11, 2009

George Steinbrenner Spotted At Yankees Winter Meetings; Demon-Slayer Van Helsing Apologizes for 'Rookie Mistake'

The New York Daily News reported last week that Yankees owner George Steinbrenner was not only alive and well, but taking part in the club's winter meetings in Tampa, FL.

The Boss took part in Thursday's organizational meetings in Tampa, the final phase of the Yankees' offseason planning before Brian Cashman can start shaping the roster for 2010.

Steinbrenner's two sons took over day-to-day operations of the team in 2007, after the senior vampire's ill-fated encounter with accomplished demonslayer Abraham Van Helsing.

On Wednesday, VanHelsing issued a brief statement:

"Two years ago, I had the vampire known as Steinbrenner cornered and subdued in Tampa thanks in part to an abundance of crucifixes and garlic. Wary of the presence of otherwoldy beasts like Hank and Cash Man, I had to swiftly retreat as the helpless Steinbrenner sought refuge in a casket. I realize now I made a rookie mistake in not driving a stake through the vampire's heart when I had the chance, and now all of Major League Baseball is paying the price. I sincerely and contritely apologize for my grievous error"

When reporters attemped to contact VanHelsing's offices yesterday, they were immediately routed to a recorded message with contact information for the demonslayer's publicist.

1 comment:

  1. Hopefully he doesn't make the same rookie mistake when he has Hankenstein in his crosshairs.