Oh wait......no I didn't.
Former Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick received a prison sentence that could range anywhere from 18 months to 5 years after being charged with violating the terms of his probation and hiding assets from the court.
"Probation is no longer an option. The terms of your earlier probation no longer apply. That ship has sailed," Groner said. "This is all because of the actions of you, Mr. Kilpatrick. You were convicted ... all because you lied under oath. That lie ... was part of a broader attempt to cover up your misdeeds while serving as mayor.Kilpatrick will also lose his $120,000 a year job with Detroit-based Compuware Corporation, a medical security software company that hired him on as a salesman. It's been reported that in over a year on Compuware's payroll, Kilpatrick has yet to close a sale.
"You challenged this court's authority," Groner said. "You attempted to utilize semantics and exploit loopholes. The broader context of this issue is that your family living expenses -- including living in a million-dollar home, driving a brand new Escalade and purchasing elective surgery for your wife -- you have made it perfectly clear that it's more important to pacify your wife than comply with my orders."
Kilpatrick and his legal team have 42 days to file an appeal, but what can I say? Couldn't happen to a nicer douchebag.
[Hat Tip: Jammie Wearing Fool]